Utilizing a strap on for the first time with a partner can be daunting! There are so many things to consider when selecting a harness and using it safely, but once you get it down - strap on sex can bring so much pleasure. 

Whether you’re looking to dive into pegging, or want to find a toy that can be worn and is pleasurable for both parties - there’s plenty of products and harnesses that will fit your unique needs. 

Let’s dive in! 

The Conversation

It is important to first have a conversation with your partner regarding what they enjoy. If you are the one being penetrated, relay the size that you are comfortable with using. If you’ve not used a penetrable before, we recommend starting with something small and flexible (but firm enough for anal use, if desired) such as the Temptasia Twist.  

There are some instances where you might want to use larger toys with your harness. In these cases, make sure you measure the proper O-ring size to ensure it accommodates your harness. Some harnesses may need extra reinforcement to hold larger toys up!

Once you’ve figured out the size preferred by the one being penetrated, you can narrow down your toy search! Beyond the toy, it’s important to discuss safety measures such as: Using lots of lubrication, safe words, starting at a comfortable size. Whenever you’re trying a new sex act or with a new partner it’s important to ask what they enjoy and relay what you enjoy in turn. This ensures both parties can enjoy as much as possible and focus on pleasure and connecting! 

Finding the Toy and Harness

There are so many different types of harnesses depending on your preferences! If you want a harness that holds tight against your skin and provides extra support and comfort, we recommend taking a look at a panty or boxer-style harness. If you desire something fully adjustable and with easy access - the Temptasia Lovelace Harness is a fantastic start. The Lovelace harness also has a bullet vibe pocket where vibration can be added to your play for extra stimulation! 

If you have a favorite toy that has a suction cup base and fits the dimensions of the O-ring on your harness, you can easily slide it through and utilize it with your partner! All suction-cup bases at Blush are harness compatible, which makes it easy to share your favorite toy with your partner. 

Don’t forget the lubrication! If you are using a silicone toy, we recommend using a water-based lubrication during play. This also ensures there are no stains or lasting markings on your strap on harness like some oil-based lubrications can leave. 

Things to Remember When Using a Strap On!  

When using a strap on for the first time it’s important to go slowly and use lots of lubrication until the one being penetrated is comfortable.

When fitting an adjustable strap on, you should tighten the harness until the dildo protrudes directly from the body. If the dildo starts to sag the harness may not be tight enough against the body or the dildo may be too large or long for the harness without additional support by way of a stabilizer.

All harnesses are washable! If you get lube, sweat, or other bodily fluids on the harness make sure to follow instructions and wash the product or wipe it down before your next use. This will prevent bacteria from growing and will ensure the harness lasts longer for your pleasure.

If you are pegging for the first time, start with fingers and lubrication before moving on to the strap on play. This ensures the one being penetrated is warmed up for something larger. Take it slow! This is not a self-lubricating area and it’s important to take it easy.