So you want to bring toys to the bedroom?
In many cases, it is nerve-wracking to bring sex toys in the bedroom with your partner. This is in great part due to the stigmas that surround sex toys and partner play! We so often hear that a sex toy is used if you aren't satisfied, or why have a toy when you have a partner? These stigmas support the belief that toys have no place amidst a healthy and happy sex life. But this is indeed not true, and it's time to embrace bringing sex toys into the bedroom!
Why would you want to introduce toys to partner play?
Sex toys are not here to replace a partner or a sensation - they are here to enhance it! Much how you may try a new position with your partner, sex toys are simply a way to change things up a little bit. Discovering new pleasure with your partner is a celebrated thing! Introducing sex toys to partner play opens up a great many doors and opportunities to pleasure.
Communication is key
Do not go and buy a ton of different sex toys and surprise your partner. As fun as that might be in your mind, it's important to acknowledge that the stigmas surrounding sex toys may be a discomfort for your partner. Sit down in a comfortable and relaxing setting with your partner and have a heart-to-heart about your desires. This is your partner and someone you should feel comfortable talking about sex with. If they have reserves about sex toys, perhaps ask to introduce something a bit less intimidating.
This is the person you trust with your body! Communicating your desires to them is key.
Ease into it!
I personally recommend starting with a new lube or massage oil! These are items that are not viewed as 'sex toys' and are sometimes easier to bring into the bedroom. They provide an enhancer for the experience you are sharing. Then try bringing in handcuffs or a blindfold. The media around us also advertises these toys often as something that is a staple item for lovers. Bringing in more mainstream enhancers in the bedroom may open up the conversation to dive into other pleasure devices together.
Vibrators are a fantastic next step because they can be used by anyone - no matter their genitals! Vibrators can also be introduced through massage with your partner as you allow the vibrations to explore the erogenous zones of the other person. Or just work out those sore muscles - either way, it brings you and your partner closer together.
Some of my favorites...
This lubrication increases pleasure. It's a clean, pH-balanced, water-based lubricant that's never sticky!
High-quality, versatile, and comfortable. This silky blindfold is a great way to introduce heightened sensation play in the bedroom.
These cuffs are playful, comfortable, and a fun way to bring in a toy and explore with your partner.
This powerful vibrator is also able to be used as a full-body massager. Body-safe and with a flexible head, it delivers rumbly vibrations wherever applied.
Have some fun!
Sex toys are a beautiful addition to your bedroom play! Have the conversation with your partner and ease into it to start your exploration! Remember, toys are just an enhancer for the amazing things you and your partner (s) do, not a replacement.
Written by Tawney Seren. She is an author of fantasy, horror, erotica, and sex education novels. Find more of her work by visiting Open Bobs BB, where she blogs about sex education and sex toys!