So maybe you’re like me, you’ve never really explored anal play before, but there’s a curious part of you that wants to try. You’re not quite ready to try it out with a partner or partners so you want to explore anal pleasure by yourself. You might ask “okay, so where do I start?” Don’t worry. I got you. Read below for some tips on Solo Anal Play 101.
For starters, butt plugs can be used by absolutely anyone and everyone who would like to explore anal play. Whether you have a vagina, a penis, both, or none - It’s a great tool for getting stimulation going no matter your intersections!
First things first – check in with yourself about how you’re feeling. Do you have capacity to set aside some time for slow exploration? Trying out new toys and play is a process that shouldn’t be rushed. Make sure you have ample time set aside to get your solo sexy play time on!
After checking in and setting your time aside for you time, it’s time to get your tools and toys ready, baby! This looks like: lube - and lots of it, the butt plug of your choice, a comfortable place to explore solo sexy time, and perhaps some other toys for foreplay and stimulation.
Note: when choosing a butt plug to take home with you, start small. There will be a variety of sizes available to you and your eyes might start getting bigger than your butthole so play it safe and choose small – at least just for now. You can always work your way up ;) I personally started with Blush’s Kaleido from their Avant collection. It was extremely soft, the perfect size for me, and had an anchored end so I could easily hold it without cramping my hands when I moved into different positions. Bonus: it’s so colourful and fun and I just loved looking at it!
Okay, back to you. Now that you’ve got your toys and tools ready, it time to get into the ~mood~. No need to introduce the plug just yet if you’re not ready. This can look like foreplay, masturbating, listening to or watching sexy things. While you do this, get a bit of anal stimulation in there to get your bum prepared for what’s to come. Getting you into the mood means you’re all sorts of relaxed and relaxation is key!
Try to get into a position that makes for an easier access to your bum. Most common is the doggy position (being on your hands and knees), but for you it could be different. Play in different positions until you find one that feels real good to you.
When you’re ready to start introducing your butt plug, start slow – this can look like light touches, grazing over pleasurable spots for you, or rimming the toy around your butthole as a way to tease. If you’re thinking about inserting the plug, work your way up to it. Use lots of lube at this point too! Try inserting a finger or a smaller toy at first and work your way up to introducing your plug. You can put as much or as little pressure as what feels good to you. Don’t feel like you have to tackle the whole toy in one day.
Reminder that anal play is all about slow exploration. Take your time. No one’s rushing you.
After having your little sexy solo anal play time, check in with yourself again. How are you feeling? What’s your after-care plan? How are you going to love up on yourself after anal play? Make sure you take care of yourself after!
Hooray! Congrats, friend! You’ve had your first ever solo anal play! Trying out a new toy and play for the first time is an incredibly vulnerable thing to do. I’m so proud of you. This calls for celebration, woo!
PS: when you’re ready to spice things up a little more I suggest looking into Twilight plug – the 3 tiered rounded plug makes for such a sexy and stimulating time. All of the butt plugs in Blush’s Avant collection are made with body-safe silicone and have an anchored base for easier extraction. No need to worry about losing a plug up your bum! Let’s be real – we’ve all had this fear right…..? It’s not just me….right?
Author: Anna (she/her/siya) is a Filipina femme radical birthworker who’s passionate about queer reproductive justice and her community. She’s living her best queer life with her spouse Felix, who’s a farmer, and have a cat and dog named Holtz and Rory! Follow Anna on IG
