Sex toys are a fantastic tool for sexual health. They can help spice up a relationship and are great to use solo as well. With so many types of sex toys, gadgets, and lubes out there it can be hard to know where to start. If you haven’t used a toy before, it’s a wonderful way to get to know yourself and your body and to connect to your partner better too.
If you’re feeling nervous, you can try reading erotica or watching porn to help get you in the mood. Start slow, feel your body’s sensations. If you’re playing with a partner, watch their movements and listen to their breathing. Try not to have any expectations other than experiencing the moment in the present and having fun!
First things first: Lube! Getting the right lube for your body and your toys is super important. Even if you’re aroused, some toys and types of play require good lubrication.
There are a few different types of lubricants and they each have their own benefits and downsides. Water-based lubricants are great for use with all toys including silicone, and pretty much everything else too! Silicone-based lubricants are great for anal play as they don’t dry out like water-based types do. They’re safe to use with latex condoms as well, though not compatible with silicone toys as it will ruin the material over time. They can also be used in water!
Hybrid lubes are a combination of both silicone and water, so still not compatible with silicone toys but will be longer-lasting than water-based lubricants. Oil-based natural lubricants like coconut and olive oil are not safe to use with condoms and usually are not good for regular use either. Never use a synthetic oil-based lubricant! Petroleum jelly is a breeding ground for bacterial problems. Also, stay away from any lubricants that contain glycerine.
Finding the right sex toy is an overwhelming task. There are so many options out there! As far as material goes, it’s important to get toys that are body-safe and non-porous. There are a lot of materials that can irritate the delicate skin of genitalia or carry harmful bacteria. Be careful buying from websites or companies that do not list the material of the toy. Silicone has a wonderful texture and is great for all types of play. Glass and metal can also be a fun sensory experience as they can be heated and cooled easily, as well! It's important to find the right material for you and whether or not you want it flexible or firm! Here is a wonderful guide on product materials at Blush!
A vibrator is a good start and you’ll definitely want one with a good motor. The Blush Noje W4 Cordless Wand is a fantastic toy. Not only does it have a deep rumbling motor but it also has multiple pulsating patterns and speeds. It’s made out of super soft silicone and is a pretty Fuschia color too. For anal play, the most important rule is always to use a toy with a flared base.
Unlike a vagina with a “dead end”, the anus is connected to your rectum and intestines. Due to a vacuum effect, a toy without a flared base will easily become stuck in places you never wanted it to go. A flared base can be just a wide bottom, and it can be a ring or T-shaped bar.
If you’ve never done anal play before, a butt plug set is a great way to safely get started! The Blush Luxe Beginner Kit Silicone Butt Plugs is a wonderful beginner set with three sizes that are tapered and flared to slowly work your way up. Made from super-soft silicone, they’re a great way to dip your toys in anal play. Remember to use lots of lube, relax, and go slow.
Now you’re ready to get started in the amazing world of sex toys. Sometimes it is overwhelming to choose a toy and if that happens, go simple. You’ll find what you like and don’t like from experience. Be open-minded and enjoy the sensations you feel. Toys can be an incredible way to connect to yourself and to your partner!
Written by Violet Dixon, Reviewer and Blogger