No if, ands, or butts!
Humans have explored their backdoor since the dawn of time. It’s the great equalizer after all, all humans have a butt! And it can feel good for anyone (regardless of gender or sexuality) to play with their butt. There are thousands of feel good nerve endings back there that can give you pleasure. Most of the nerve endings are around the opening, but the outside of the rectum also has nerve endings. The anal sphincter is actually one of the most sensitive parts of the human body, because it has some of the densest concentrations of nerve endings in one spot. In fact, it can feel really good to stimulate the outside of the anus, without ever going inside. Penetrative anal stimulation is enjoyable for the feeling of pressure and fullness it creates. Internal stimulation can also reach the clitoris and the root of the penis from inside adding layers to sensations.
The anatomy of the backdoor
You might think that your butt is just your butt, but knowing your anatomy is the first step to safe exploration. They parts of the backdoor are:
- The anus,
- the rectum,
- and the anal sphincter.
The anus is the hole itself at the end of your digestive tract, it’s where poop will leave the body. It is made up of skin layers with several nerve endings that make the anus particularly sensitive.
The rectum is the tube at the end of the digestive tube and is right above the anus. Your actual anal cavity.
The anal sphincter is a muscular ring that keeps the anus closed. It is controlled by the autonomic nervous system, but it's also possible to contract and relax it voluntarily.
Penis owners will also have a prostate, which produces semen, and luckily happens to be full of sensitive nerves that can make for some fun exploration.
While poop doesn’t live in the rectum- it lives in the large intestines, the worst you might come in contact with, is poo remnants in the rectum from past bowel movements. I would say having a shower (and sticking a soapy finger up), is enough for me. Trust your body, if your stomach isn’t feeling good then hold off on exploring. But be aware there is a possibility that you might encounter some leftover poop when exploring. You can put a towel, or sex blanket under you while you play. Or explore right in the bath or shower for easy cleanup. You can also use latex gloves to keep fingers clean. You can also give yourself a quick douche for piece of mind, but not a necessity to play.
Relaxation, Lubrication & Communication
Normally with sex, I say there are no rules as long as there is consent. With backdoor exploration there are some safety precautions you’ll want to take. While you can’t lose a toy in a vagina because it has the cervix as a barrier, the other end of your anus is actually your mouth. So if you’re using a toy, the toy must have a base otherwise you risk losing the toy up your butt and having to go to the hospital. You’ll also need a lubricant because the rectum does not self lubricate. Thicker formulas tend to be best for backdoor exploration because they last longer and put a nice cushion. And trust me, there is no such a thing as too much lube!Luxe - Beginner Plug Kit
You may have noticed that your sphincter is pretty tight. Going right from no penetration to having a penis or toy larger than a finger inside it can be uncomfortable, or even painful. It’s a good idea to start with a finger (yours or your partner’s) or a small plug or dildo, and work your way up. Going slow, and listening to your body is vital. Start by turning yourself on. Exploring solo is a great way to start getting comfortable with new sensations, and sometimes having an orgasm before exploring the backdoor can help you relax. Exploring your body in the bath or shower is a great place to start because you tend to be more relaxed. The more comfortable you get on your own, the better you’ll be able to communicate to a partner what feels good and when you need more lube.
Anal Should Never Hurt
The most common misconception for anal exploration is that anal sex will hurt. Which is just not true! If anal exploration hurts at all, it means you need to adjust something. It might mean you need more lube(or a different formula- all lubes were not created equally), a smaller toy, or even a different position. Either way if you’re feeling uncomfortable, or any sort of pain, try adjusting something or adding stimulation to other erogenous areas. Sometimes rubbing your clit, or stroking your shaft might help your body relax for penetration. And if you just don’t like it, you don’t have to try again! Your body, your pleasure! The goal of exploring should be pleasure, and if it’s just not feeling good for you remember that you can also stop exploring as well. Give it a shot, and see if you open up more pleasure options.